FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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