I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
