your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
