i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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