Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize