i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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