It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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