I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
