Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
