Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
