a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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