Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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