even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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