I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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