This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
