"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
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