So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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