Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
