OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
