is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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