I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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