the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
