ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
