good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
