There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
