Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
