please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'd cum for enchiladas.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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