Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
