Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
