now i know why i became what i already was.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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