oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
