chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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