the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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She's not a foreskin expert like you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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