Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
