Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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