glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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