are you so shy because you have an std?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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