my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
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Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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