You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
