I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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