Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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