i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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