I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
