i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
