Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize