With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
