kristin has been a bad kristin
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
