So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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