My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
