He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
