I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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