haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
