if you like me you must not know who I am
I think my vagina is haunted
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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