I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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