Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
