I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
