hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
two words: eviction party
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
