Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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