Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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