There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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