I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
