Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think my moral compass just broke
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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