I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
