I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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