This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
