Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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