i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
